SRTOGSEF: Destinies of Misadventure
by T.T. Goldsmith
Summary: The haphazard and illicit account of the son of a famous bounty; rampaging across the multiverse in series of encounters.
1. Gang of Four

1. Gang of Four

Log 222-56-640 ASCHEN BRODEL 'ASCHEN BABY'

Mid-Keil crystals in abundance having attached to the walls of the inn. Haken Browning is gingerly touching one with the nozzle of his rifle, but his eyes have fashioned on Princess Kaguya. He seems unfocused today. He has constantly been keeping a close eye on Princess Kaguya, but noting his history, it seems unlikely he will take action. Suzuka of the Shiki-Oni is watching Haken. Her reactions to him reflect a tone of anger and impatience, but due to the flush on her skin and the heat of her body temperature, I gauge that she has a kind of admiration for him, 'as sick as that is,' my internal BABY phrases gently to my AI.

Analysis of Mid-Keil crystals: having a pink-reddish color, they have proven unbreakable and cause distortions of reality when focused on, similar to when living things stare into the sun for a long period of time, except Mid-Keil crystals do not cause scarring of the eye tissue. On other worlds, they grew in places where space-time was weak, but here on Elfetale, they grow with increasing urgency, as if they were actually feeding off a living object. The comparison of the Mid-Keil crystals in the mountain pass near Espina Castle versus the Mid-Keil crystals in Kagura Amahara and even those few we found on Lost Herencia are of a much stronger and durable quality. They are nearly unbreakable, as Aschen Brodel has already tested on several occasions, 'hurt like a man without love!' my internal BABY phrases to my AI. Complaint noted in Log slot under 'human emotions' category.

Haken is speaking with Kaguya now. His vocal vibrations assume a tone of condescension, and looking back at his historical situations, Aschen Brodel must assume Haken is going to make a statement about her anatomy that slips the AI category of 'Careful.' Internal BABY taking over.

"Hey, Hat-Head! Take your eyes off her parts!' Aschen BABY raises her fist and knocks Haken back, her cyborg fist slamming into his shoulder at a speed much higher than safe parameters, which forces Haken Browning back into the front desk of the inn, and topples him over headlong, his feet lifted into the air and a crack ensuing from behind the counter.

"Maybe I did deserve that," Haken mutters from about one meter away, his voice muffled.

"What?" Kaguya says. Aschen Brodel notes that she did not even realize what Haken was doing, far too taken with a small bird outside a window covered in small Mid-Keil crystals having grown around the lattices of the curtains like little flowers. The bird flies away, frightened by the sudden movement of Aschen Brodel's arm as Aschen BABY touches Kaguya's arm in sympathetic response.

Suzuka mutters something that Aschen Brodel is unable to receive. She stomps away and walks into the hallway.


	2. Band of Idiots

2. Band of Idiots

It seems wherever I go, I'm surrounded by idiocy.

I mean, GOD, how can be do that to her, and why does she act like she doesn't notice? Does she like it when he makes a comment totally directed at her, then licks his finger to show his own self-admiration? Because she smiles whenever he does that, and then looks away like she doesn't know. I can't believe - I won't believe, she's that stupid.

And what's with his sexbot? She seems to have been programmed to support his nubile behavior. I wonder if the person who designed her specifically did so because he thought it would be funny to raise a child without any morality, who goes on limbic-addled quests to personally insult any female living thing in the world.

It's like he has this charm attached to him that turns intelligent women into brainless automatons who thirst for nothing more than his degenerate comments. The girl we met (after nearly dying, I need to exclaim again! to deaf ears), Sayol, was flitting her lashes and other unmentionables at Haken almost immediately. It's like the boy is cursed with being in stasis to his own nubile self.

He does look pretty good in battle though, even if he is cocky. He's always in control, even when we were fighting that witch who we saved. Sometimes, honestly, I'd rather I not have left Daddy in this stupid search. He makes me so angry. Not Daddy. Haken.

At least I have Gunny. He listens. He ALWAYS listens. Even though, well, he's not alive, but so what. He does exactly what I tell him and when, unlike certain cowboys who I can't stand.

This castle is weird. The statues freak me out a lot. I never show my fear though. One hundred years of never getting a date taught me to do that.

Where's my little Gunny. Oh, there he is. I'm going to talk to Gunny now. Leave me alone.

-Suzuka


End file.
